A self introspective look into life

I love my dogAfter Dingo (my dog) died in June 2000, I continued to focus on my 3rd relationship but soon after I realized that the dreams and goals I had were not shared with my former partner. I wanted to leave Austin but I also had my extended family that I had bonded very deeply too, particularly my Godson, Aaron. Deep down I also realized that my extended family, along with a few close friends and my doctor, provided a much needed security blanket for me to fall back into when I wanted it. It was too easy to stay…..

…..My dreams and goals were to take off on the road, see many sights I had not visited for almost 30 years and look for my soul mate who I believe is out there somewhere. There were many little things that held me back at the time, the most common stuff such as “what if……..” but then one day I realized that this too was a barrier to my dreams and goals so slowly I started working those fears away……

….. I finally realized that I owed it to myself to take the risks and just do what needed to be done. I severed some deep rooted ties with certain members of my extended family, gave away much of what I owned and prepared myself both emotionally and physically for my new journey……

…..During this time I also met a younger guy up in Springfield MO and after many emails and phone conversations I finally decided to leave Austin and explore the possibility of a relationship with the guy – within my first three weeks in MO I realized that things were not going to work with this guy as we shared no common interests so I went on my way…..

……I’ve also thinned my personal belongings now down to the point where I can pack up a few clothes/leathers, a photo album, a sleeping bag, my laptop and cell phone. The only major piece of furniture I have is the shrine I have kept for my dog and that is with someone whom I know will truly appreciate what it is. Many of the materialistic things that were barriers to my moving around are now gone……

…..I am in many ways homeless, in the sense that I no longer have roots planted, living with a friend in Springfield and sharing his home….. Although I will always have a few close friends and some extended family I could return to in Austin, I have chosen not to go back there…… Another barrier I have removed from my path to complete freedom to explore and search for my soulmate – pulling myself away from a comfortable security blanket……

…..Some may think that’s a crazy thing to do but my only answer to them is that I am much happier knowing that I now have that freedom to find what I am looking for, with no barriers in front of me aside from those which I cannot control……

…..So I can now freely start looking for new soil to plant my roots into. I can travel new roads and see a bit more of the world out there.I am guided by my own Higher Power most often and am one who tends to take many more risks than most even dream of……

…..I believe that when people come to the edge of the cliff and look to the other side, too often they tend to look down and rather than jump to the other side, stay where they are out of fear of falling or not making it over to that other side. I cannot do that – when I come to the edge I look over and take that leap, based on my personal faith and belief system, knowing that there is always something better on the other side of the cliff. If my instinct tells me to turn around and look for another path, I do so without hesitation and no 2nd thought – I have discovered too many times that if I take the time to think about it all and start having doubts, then I start creating new barriers not just for myself but others as well…..

…..By not taking those leaps of faith blindly I would never really know where a particular path might lead and could be losing out on something very special waiting for me. It’s taken me years to get to this point, but I’m there! And it gets easier!…..

…..So this is where I am now, on the road looking for my soulmate and while traveling these paths maybe meeting some really wonderful and interesting people while going there…….This web site was created a few years ago so that I could share some of my life and find someone. It’s been sitting dormant for about two years until recently. I am going to try putting a bit more time into this site for those who may be interested in following along with me – and in doing so I hope to encourage others out there to realize their dreams. My close friends tell me that I do not stay in touch often so they too will benefit in knowing where I am at.

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